What more is there to say really? It feels awesome. I am grateful, I am relieved, and I am inspired.
Do you ever meet some one, in a grocery store, at a party, wherever, and think, “You seem awesome. I would like to know you?” Several months ago, I made a friend like this. I was caught instantly by Erin’s mix of killer style, conspiratorial smile, and science nerd-dom swirled together with a love of art. Who wouldn’t fall for that? Then, just about a month ago, on one of my last days at the café she came in to visit and added that, hey by the way, “I’ve been saving up for a while to buy a piece of art, and I really liked your paintings. Think we could work something out?”
One of my paintings? You want to use your hard-earned, carefully-hoarded savings to bring something that I created into your life to keep? That’s affirmation for an artist.
After all, why do we paint really? I can’t speak for other artists, but I think that I paint for two reasons mostly: firstly because painting helps me makes sense of what I am feeling and give voice to my inner world, and also because I have a hope, perhaps even a conviction, that the clarity and expression I find in making a painting can also be shared with others through looking at and living with a painting. Having a person I like and admire choose to buy a piece of my work goes a long way towards building faith in that hope.
I did this piece back in November, when I was going through a lot of turmoil with one of my closest guy-friends. It was one of those situations where you’re both kind of doing that emotional tango of, “I know I love you, and I might be in love with you, or maybe I just know I could fall in love with you, and that might be a really good idea, but it also might be a really bad idea, and…aah.” It turned out to be…not a really bad idea, but definitely not the best idea. Not a workable idea. But in the process, and out of making this painting, I realized that no matter what happens to my love for some one– whether it gets confused or turned down or encouraged or not– feeling love for some one is a good thing. This painting is a picture of both that love and that understanding.